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The following quotes taken from the Toronto News, July 26, 1977, are actual statements found on insurance forms where car drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest words possible.  Those instances of faulty writing serve to confirm that incompetent writing may be highly entertaining!

“Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I do not have”.

“I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my hand through it”.

“I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way”.

“A pedestrian hit me and went under my car”.

“The guy was all over the road.  I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him”.

“I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.”

“In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole”.

“I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home.  As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision.  I did not see the other car”.

“I had been driving for forty years when I feel asleep at the wheel and had the accident”.

“I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way”.

“As I approached the intersection a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before.  I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident”.

“To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian”.

“My car was legally parked.  It backed onto the other vehicle”.

“An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle, and vanished”.

“I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had a fractured skull”.

“I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him”.

“The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran him over”.

“I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman, as he bounced off the hood of my car”.

“The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth”.

“I was thrown from my car as it left the road.  I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows”.

“The telephone pole was approaching.  I was attempting to swerve out of the way when it struck my front end”.

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 email beanland@digi.net.sa
Last edit: 25 May 2001 . Author: B. Beanland

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