quotes taken from the Toronto News, July 26, 1977, are actual
statements found on insurance forms where car drivers attempted
to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest words
instances of faulty writing serve to confirm that incompetent
writing may be highly entertaining!
“Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and
collided with a tree I do not have”.
“I thought my window was down, but I found it was up
when I put my hand through it”.
“I collided with a stationary truck coming the other
“A pedestrian hit me and went under my car”.
“The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number
of times before I hit him”.
“I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at
my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.”
“In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a
“I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my
way home. As I
reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision. I did not see the other
“I had been driving for forty years when I feel
asleep at the wheel and had the accident”.
“I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble
when my universal joint gave way”.
“As I approached the intersection a stop sign
suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever
appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident”.
“To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I
struck the pedestrian”.
“My car was legally parked. It backed onto the other
“An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my
vehicle, and vanished”.
“I told the police that I was not injured, but on
removing my hat, I found that I had a fractured skull”.
“I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the
other side of the road when I struck him”.
“The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run,
so I ran him over”.
“I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman, as he
bounced off the hood of my car”.
“The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy
in a small car with a big mouth”.
“I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a
ditch by some stray cows”.
“The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to
swerve out of the way when it struck my front end”.